What the hell happened..?

Aged 15 mins


I don't want to start the whole shebang with a cliche, but Jesus - I mean, one minute everything's all dark and cosy (if a little cramped) and the next it's bright lights, harsh sounds and blood and guts everywhere..! Still, apparently something called my Apgars were perfect so it must have been Mummy's blood, I guess.

Three hours ago that was and since then it's been all go - hope that's not a sign of what's in store out here! First they took me to see Daddy, who must be a cleaner or something because he was waiting in a broom cupboard. Big, and cries a lot - something about long hard ways and never thinking it would happen (he doesn't know the half of it, believe me - he should have tried being the one on the inside!). Apparently you don't get any choice in these things, so I guess he'll have to do.

Then I went back to see Mummy again, but she was still lying quite still and moaning a bit like some kind of night-of-the living-dead extra. What on earth have I got myself into? Apparently the blood was hers and there was rather a lot of it - which you would have thought would have made her even more keen to see me, but no! I just had to lay there next to her for ages without even a mobile to look at. You'd think they could have strung up a few scalpels or something...

So eventually we get to go to the ward, with my dopey Mummy and big snuffly Daddy, and that's when I get to meet my Granny - who seems nice enough and not too mad for an auld one - and my big sister Zoe - who is beautiful, which is the first reasssurance I've had - and Bryan, who is something called 'er fella', apparently - note that for future investigation.
The Beautiful Zoe